Hidden Emotions
by Broken Moony Black
Summary: Teddy Lupin expresses another side of himself that he has been hiding his whole life, as he finally decides what do do about it.


**Disclaimer: I don't own anything here except the for the plot. If I did, the Wizarding World would be in chaos once again. :D**

**I'm not sure why I wrote this- I just felt like I had to, and it kept bugging me until I did. It's my first fan fiction (and first story that's been read by more people than my friends), so any constructive criticism reviews would be helpful. :) **

Teddy Lupin looked out his bedroom window at the Potters' house and stared at the rain as it poured down, leaving tiny tear-like droplets on the glass. He didn't know what time it was, since James 'accidentally' smashed his Muggle-style clock a few days before, and he hasn't even had the strength to fix it with a swish of his wand and the Reparo spell, not that he was aloud to anyway, because of that stupid Ministry and their rules about underage Wizards using magic outside of Hogwarts. The fifteen-year-old Metamorphmagus turned away from the window, and looked down, making his shaggy blue hair fall into his eyes. He looked at the scrolls of parchment and photos that were scattered on his bed. "If only I was there.." he thought to himself miserably for what must have been the hundredth time that night. Teddy picked up the first thing that he touched as he placed his hand on the soft sheets, which turned out to be a picture of The Marauders. There was James Potter, looking exactly like his Godfather, Harry. He had a smirk on his face and his glasses were crooked. Next to him was Sirius Black, his best friend and partner in mischief. Almost directly behind him was Peter Pettigrew. Teddy knew that Peter betrayed Harry's parents to Voldemort, and tried to shut him out of his mind, even though it was very hard. If it wasn't for Pettigrew, then everyone he knew would be living completely different lives today. Finally, next to Sirius was a short, sandy haired boy who was leaning against a wall. He was Remus Lupin. Also known as Teddy's father. Teddy looked away, not being able to stand seeing his dad, the same age as him, happy, strong and alive. His dad he had never met, who he knew had done so much to make sure Teddy grew up in a safe world without Voldemort, and succeeded, but never got the chance to know.

Teddy sighed, thinking of Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny. They told him so many stories about their lives at Hogwarts, how they saved the Wizarding world and how they got where they were today. Teddy was fascinated by the stories, but they made him even more restless. How he wished he could have been their. They told him how close they all were to death, more times than they could count. How Voldemort killed hundreds of innocent people, including Muggles, and how their lives were living nightmares most of the time. But Teddy didn't care. He wanted the excitement, he wanted the power. His Professors thought he was crazy, sent him to St. Mungos where he stayed in agony for almost a year. Harry didn't believe what the Professors said about Teddy. he said that _they_ were the mental ones, and that nobody in their right mind would want to go back to that time. That shattered the young boys' hopes of explaining to his Godfather his dreams.

All of Teddy's friends, family and Quidditch team members knew him as the happy, easy-going mischief maker. Little did they know it was all an act. He was broken, lost and confused. He rarely left the Potters' house, not to mention his room. His Grandmother, who was his legal guardian respected that he didn't feel like staying at his real home right now, but didn't understand why. Teddy didn't really know why either. Maybe it was just because he just happened to be in this house when he finally broke down, and didn't have the energy to leave.

The rain suddenly stopped beating on the window. The sky was almost pitch black, from the gloomy clouds and probably because it was the middle of the night, but Teddy wasn't really keeping track of day and night anymore. The tall, skinny boy stood up off the bed, his legs weak and shaky from not being in use for so long. He slowly walked over to the dusty mirror on the wall and stared at his reflection. His usually bright eyes were now dull and faded, and in an instant, he turned them midnight black. His eyes rose up to his long, shaggy hair. Suddenly it was cut a lot shorter, the way it usually is, and instead of the bright blue color he always liked it, it was now a dark, unwelcoming black to match his eyes.

Teddy sighed as he picked up a quill off his desk, and quickly scribbled a note to Victoire. He wished he could say goodbye to her properly. He wished he could wrap her in his arms one more time, and say those three words he never had the nerve to say before. But he knew he couldn't. He had to leave now before he _did_go crazy. Teddy rolled up the parchment slowly, wrapping it in the ribbon Victoire gave to him to remember her forever. He knew he didn't need it though. He would _never_forget her. His heart ached knowing he'll never see her again, knowing how much pain she'll be in. Teddy had a feeling this is how Harry felt so long ago when his scar burned with Volemorts' thoughts. He gripped the side of the desk, as a tear slid down his hollow cheek. Through all of his suffering and confusion, this was the first tear that Teddy shed. The young boy stumbled over to his small grey owl, Wolf, and whispered, "Take this to Victoire." his voice cracked as he said his girlfriend's name. "Don't look for me when you get back, I wont be here. I wont be at Gran's either." he said as the owl looked at him curiously, then swooped out the window Teddy just opened with his wand, not even caring about the consequences. He didn't bother writing a note to Harry and the others, because he knew Victoire would tell them.

Teddy took out the Invisibility Cloak, that Harry gave to him on his eleventh birthday, because he was his eldest son, even though not related by blood. He threw it over himself, and silently opened his bedroom door and walked out into the hallway of Grimmauld Place. It was obviously night, and as he walked towards the stairs, careful not to step on any squeaky floorboards he looked into his younger siblings' rooms. He saw James and Albus, both snoring quietly on their bunk beds, and in the next room there was Lily, curled up in a ball on her canopy bed. Teddy whispered 'Goodbye' to all of them. At the end of the hall was Harry and Ginny's room. He mouthed 'I'm sorry' to them, even though he was not sure why he was sorry. The next thing he knew he was standing outside. The sun was slowly rising in the distance, and Teddy walked toward it. He didn't know how, and he didn't know why, but he was off to find a Time-Turner. Even though Harry said that they had destroyed them all, Teddy knew there was one still out there somewhere, and he was going to find it. He was going home.


End file.
